Brian

At around noon July 3oth, 1983, Jean's water broke at home. I drove her from Neenah Wisconsin to Appleton Memorial Hospital. I had to stop on highway 41 to help her breathing at times. Her own OB doctor was playing a soccer match and he got to the hospital 15 minutes past 1:37 p.m., time of delivery of Brian Michael Hsu. Jean picked the names.

Things were going well while he stayed in the hospital. We were warned that he has jondace and he should get plenty of sunshine. We tried our best to get rid of that situation and eventually it was decided that Asian babies might have a higher count just because...

In many ways, he was a happy baby and easy to work with. After he was a month old, we moved to Minneapolis Minnesota with a new job. We lived in an apartment and we could not get him to sleep at night. He would wake us up every hour and we did not know what to do. Some wise person told us to leave him alone for 2 or 3 hours at a time. He gradually accepted that and life became easier. One of my favorite picture of him at that age was this one with him taking a bath at the sink.

It gets really cold in Minnesota. We tried to fit in but it was hard. Jean finally brought him back to Taiwan where is warm. I missed him a lot during those five months. They came back around April 5th 1984. At that time, I found a new job working in Atlanta. We drove down via Dallas Texas to see Clarence Teng, Jean's brother's family. These pictures on high chair were taken prior to leaving Minnesota.

Georgia was a nice place. We met many good Chinese friends such as the Liu's(王竹君). Their children were maybe 8 and 5 so they were playing with Brian. Our neighbor on Lowe Trail had a son, John Mark, maybe one year older than Brian. Brian enjoyed it there.

Around February or March of 1985, Jean was overloaded by the twins and was told to rest in bed. I needed to work so Brian was sent to a Chinese mom to spend the day. He did not like that so Jean's parents arrived to help us. Thanks to them, we survived and twin girls were born on July 22nd.

It took Brian a while to get used to having sisters around. However, I took a new job with EDS/GM in Detroit so I was away weeks at a time. Children lived with mom and grand parents and things were fine. However, I missed Brian and he missed me.

One time, Brian got upset and was hitting us. I realized that maybe we are too limiting on him. After that, I started learning child-rearing. These courses I took were so helpful in later years.

Finally, the family moved to Plano Texas to stay with Clarence Teng. One time, I was over there and Brian was with me. I was taking a nap and asked Brian to wake me up at a certain time. He did that at the age of 2.5, that was impressive.

We moved to Detroit in March of 1986. I enjoyed the job and family enjoyed it there. Brian enjoyed the apartment. He would run in and out under the sprinklers and laugh.

Diversity and Education(H. Richard Milner)

Black Males in Schools

1. Teachers and students must envision life beyond current situation.

Black males need to have a vision that their future situations can be better than their current situations. When students realize that they might be struggling and not succeeding currently, but it is quite likely for them to turn their lives around, they are more likely to work harder.

2. Understanding the self in relationship to others.

Both teachers and students need to know themselves in relation to others. Both need to examine own and others' histories.

3. Speaking possibility, not destruction.

Black males students respect their teachers when their teachers respect them. Empower students to speak possibilities into their own lives. Use good examples: Working in a bank vs. working for McDonald's".

4. Caring and demonstrating care.

Show interests in students. Compliment students. Allow them to make up work. Attend student activities. High expectations are necessary to help black students to emancipate themselves and to move beyond their current situations.

5. Changing the mind, changing the actions.

Teachers need to change our negative minds about black students.
Black male students need to change their negative perceptions and views about themselves.

Dropout Prevention

America's Promise Alliance: http://www.americaspromise.org/
http://www.every1graduates.org/
http://www.achieve.org/
http://www.bbbs.org/
http://www.hsalliance.org/
http://www.betterhighschools.org/
http://www.mmsa.org/
http://www.principals.org/
http://www.massinsight.org/
http://www.mdrc.org/
http://www.mgforum.org/

Arab Israel Peace

www.theparentscircle.com,
www.seedsofpeace.org,
www.coalitionofwomen4peace.org,
www.jerusalempeacemakers.org,
www.rhr.israel.net,
www.nswas.com,
www.dialogato.org.il/peace/default.asp,
www.foeme.org,
www.icahd.org,
www.justvision.org,
www.btvshalom.org,
www.jstreet.org,
www.thedialogueproject.org

Mother's Life

媽媽大概在民國九年在河北省遵化縣生。生日恰好是舊曆八月十五中秋節。她的媽媽姚氏是續弦。下面又生了六個弟弟。媽媽是老大。她上面有兩個姐姐。大姐嫁了好丈夫﹐從來不回娘家。二姐嫁給一個沒錢人叫勞國莊的﹐又是老大下面又有很多弟妹﹐每天忙得半死所以有時回娘家清閒一下子。但是媽的媽不是二姐的媽，所以二姐來家裡也沒有甚麼好的招待。

她的媽媽不喜歡她﹐要她做很多的家事。若是媽不聽話就會挨打。北方有一種農作物的桿叫笤帚(音﹕條舟)的。祖母就用這個枝子打媽媽。媽說被按著打屁股。媽說她也不哭﹐也不求饒﹐心想妳能就把我打死吧。

她很聰明﹐小時候書讀的很好﹐常考第一名。但是有時候不許去上學﹐過了一年又去上。加上戰亂和日本人侵略我們﹐她二十多歲來到台灣(1949)什麼文憑也沒有。聽說台北護專招生﹐和朋友就去上。校長夏德珍說妳們能年底考過大考﹐就可以明年繼續念。媽成度夠﹐幾年後終於拿到了唯一的文憑。

我記得她的同班同學有顧翹曾，呂庭芳，段競，李書貞，吳昌南。其中顧翹曾對她最懷念，永遠保持連絡。呂庭芳很忌妒媽有好多自己生的小孩，和媽的關係時好時壞。

畢了業﹐自願分發到嘉義空軍醫院﹐因為大弟夢徵在那兒。不久又調到陽明山的衛生院。在那兒見過蔣家大小,記得我小時後媽有時候會帶全家去後草山玩。

不久遇見爸爸(徐炳堃)﹐結婚住在新生南路三段十九巷五號。隔壁是民社黨的黨部﹐爺爺(徐傅霖)就在那兒當主席。爺爺很喜歡她﹐常常人前人後的稱讚她﹐她也工作努力,只是府中的人事太雜,很難相處的好。

她有時懷疑爸爸已經在大路結過婚，爸不告訴她。後來發現爸往大路上匯錢才知道。

她年輕時很喜歡交個戴帽子的男朋友，所謂戴帽子的，就是軍人或警察。在北方有一位炮兵的，交了一段時間，他調走了。

媽媽的個性很強﹐樣樣事情都要自己的辦法來。有時候當然和人衝突。府中有個叫揚郁英的女人很厲害﹐媽怕那個人會對小孩不利﹐就搬到木柵去住。有時候會回去看看。1958年一月十二日爺爺心臟病去世﹐不久全家又搬回五號。不善良的人把所有的東西都拿走了。說米缸裡一粒米也沒了。連舊報紙也都賣光了。

媽是很怕髒的人。每天洗手﹐腳﹐和洗澡是不能馬虎的。小孩定期的檢查和打預防針都按時的。小時候總覺得太麻煩﹐現在自己身體好﹐很感謝她。

媽的一生都是為了別人。小時候要幫忙帶六個弟弟。 自己有了小孩就盡全力的照顧。任何事對孩子有利的﹐絕不反顧。

在民生東路住的時侯，後面石凳子上總有一隻大黃狗。牠有時後叫，吵到大哥，大哥揚言要一拳把這條狗打死。媽怕他一拳打不死反被狗咬，就開始想辦法，最後用毒老鼠的藥沾在麵包上給牠吃了，一下就死了。

她喜歡我們吃東西。每天很重要的一件事就是吃。多吃比少吃好。 所以我們小孩都長的不矮﹐因為我們家伙食好。但有一次我吃太多餅乾，昏迷了三天。

她在１９６０年代也迷上了凌波，幾部黃梅調電影看了一遍又一遍。有時侯在電影院看一天。最喜歡的是梁祝。

穿﹐戴﹐家用她倒沒有嚴格要求﹐有就好了。這樣的人生很容易。有人說是“內控”。 自己想做什麼就做什麼。快活的很。

她是比較有成見的人，什麼事要照她的辦法幹。所以她和爸爸結婚一拍即合。爸爸什麼家事都不想做，也不會做。媽媽稱他“公子哥兒”就自己做，配合很好。後來她忙了，爸也會幫忙。

她也有忌諱，中年時侯怕得癌症，不願意看“癌”這個字。

她對政治倒是很有興趣，當鄰長很多年，和鄰居相處的都很好。每次投票一定去為國民黨拉票,她當年也很喜歡蔣經國。

她最傷心的事之一是小弟小培１７歲淹死，記得當天事發了，她本來要把屍體先運到家裡放一段時間，再想想辦法。後來她整個晚上都不能睡，幾天都不時會哀叫一聲的。她說她哭了十年，小培也從來不到她的夢中。有時候老爸煩了，叫她到外面去哭，她出去公園的椅子上坐著掉眼淚。

她墮過三次胎，老了以後有時會提起，也很後悔, 爸爸每次都會說 “他們是來投生的，不是來投死的”。

從媽那裡學了很多東西。協助別人是一個大學問，在小的時候在她身邊幫忙，她會不時教導和提示如合幫助。我因此養成了幫忙的習慣，也會幫忙。

也學會做不少麵食。比如說包餃子。從和麵，和餡，醒麵，桿皮，包，煮　和吃　都會。

10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives

1. Stupid Attachment: Is a woman just a Wo Wo Wo a Man?
You typically look to the context of a man to find and define yourself.

2. Stupid Courtship: “I finally found someone I could attach to” and other stupid ideas about dating.
Desperate to have a man, you become a beggar, not a chooser, in the dating ritual

3. Stupid Devotion: “But I love him” and more stupid romantic stuff.
You find yourself driven to love and suffer and succor (or do you spell that “sucker”?) in vain.

4. Stupid Passion: “Ohhh, Ahhh, we’re breathing hard … it must mean love”
You have sex too soon, too romantically, and set yourself up to be burned.

5. Stupid Cohabitation: The ultimate female self-delusion:
So stop lying to yourself! You’re not living with him because you love him. You’re living with him because you hope he’ll want you!

6. Stupid expectations: First you commit to him, then you hate him?
Using marriage as a quick fix for low or no self-esteem.

7. Stupid conception: Making babies for the worst reasons.
Misguidedly, you use biology as a jump start for love, personal growth, and commitement.

8. Stupid Subjugation: Letting him hurt your babies.
You and your children are held hostage to your own obsessive need for security and attachments.

9. Stupid helplessness: “Oh, I always whine and whimper when I’m angry.”
Too scared and insecure to deal with your rage, you turn it into wimpishness.

10 Stupid forgiving: “I know he’s adulterous, addicted, controlling, insensitive, and violent …but other than that – "
You don’t know when to break off a no-win relationship, or how to not get involved in the first place.

Blood Donation

I went to donate blood at Gaithersburg, MD center this Sat. I was not greeted with, “Hi, Good morning, Thank you for coming here”. Instead, I smiled and try to be nice. “Get a number and sign in”, I was told. After sitting for a while, A nurse came and took me in a room for registration. I had a water bottle in hand and she told me I must leave it out side the room. She did not say it nicely or with any good explanation. Again, I smiled to fit in.

After few minutes, She needed to leave the room so she pretty much slammed the door while I was sitting in a chair about six inches from the door frame.

The room was freezing cold. Most of the donors were shivering since we came in shorts and short sleeves when it is 80 degrees outside.

The token “thank you” shirt was not there for me to get one.

I have been to this center few times. The leader, Peru, was the kindest and nicest guy. He has always been courteous and knowledgeable.

On the up side, there is a happy ending. I usually spend 30 minutes donating blood. I often had to endure comments like, “I do not think you can do it”, “Your veins are too small”, “I need someone else to do this“. I often had to say, ”Yes, there is blood in there”. This nurse knew how to do it right. It took me about 10 minutes this time. (Can all nurses be trained so they know what to do)?