As the mother of a recovering opiate addict who could not find effective, affordable, or appropriate treatment for my son because it barely exists in this state, one of the richest states in the nation, my words are sometimes beyond "harsh". As a mother who did not, three years ago, have a clue what opiate addiction was or that opiate addiction was pervasive throughout my son's school and community, I sometimes feel like going postal (just kidding), when I encounter the elaborate lengths of denial that adults, community leaders, legislators, school administrators, and parents of addicts will go to, in order to cover up the problem. Their silence is deadly. Their silence is fatal. Their silence is what will keep the next mother's son or daughter from staying alive. I am not in denial and I am under no false pretenses that another child will probably soon die. As I have stated, the current confirmed death rate due to an opiate related cause, stands at one death every three months for the past three years for Damascus graduates who are under 24 years of age.
We are now aware of the rates of opiate addiction. We are now aware of the death rate in Damascus. We are now aware that we do not have adequate treatment. Therefore, the next death will be on the hands of the community. The adults who would silence those who would warn other parents, the adults who do nothing short of demanding high quality, affordable, effective prevention and treatment programs, the adults who pretend that this problem does not exist in their community are part of the problem. The next death will surely come because nothing is being done fast enough to prevent it. The next death will be on the hands of those who did not speak up and on those who prevented others from speaking up.
Ms. Essich and Mr. Sterling represent two attitudes that all of us who are aware of the problem share on various days. There is not enough being done quick enough to save the next child's life. Now on some days, I am enraged, and I speak harshly. On other days, I try not to offend those whom I think may be able to help and I tip-toe around the problem so as not to upset them. On other days I worry about the opinions of those who may be receiving my emails and whether or not I can trust them to "have my back". On other days I pray that I have the strength to speak honestly and plainly and clearly without my ego or my fear getting in the way. On the night after the the MCPD program, I sobbed. I sobbed for all the lost opportunities to warn all those parents sitting in the audience, as I drove past the Brink Road cemetery where already three Damascus High School graduates Rest In Peace.
I am exceedingly gratetful that Senator Karen Montgomery's staff ignored my "harsh" words (that is an understatement) last summer when I began calling my legislators demanding that my son receive appropriate addiction treatment, regardless of the fact that my insurance would not cover it and I could not get him into treatment on my own. If it were not for her compassionate staff, hearing my plea, while ignoring my "harsh" tone, my "harsh" words, and my "harsh" frustration, I am quite sure that my son would be dead.
The reason that I put Mr. Sterling's response on the table is because, regardless of his "harshness", he is right. Ms. Essich, you are also right. The problem is not that people don't "recognize" the problem, the problem is that people overtly deny the problem exists due to the stigma associated with drug addiction. Mr. Sterling's response to this "lie" is to be critical. Ms. Essich's response to this "lie" is to tip-toe. Frankly, I feel like screaming. When I know that last year's Damascus High School cheerleaders were opiate addicts and shot heroin, but neither the Principal, nor the police addressed that truth, it is frustrating. When I know that last year's graduating class of top Damascus High School athletes were opiate addicts and shot heroin and we have a golden opportunity to inform parents so that they do not have to endure the suffering that I have endured, and we miss that opportunity, I want to just start screaming --but instead I cried. I cried all the way home. I cried hardest when I passed by the Brink Road Cemetery where three Damascus High School graduates who died of opiate related causes already Rest In Peace.
If the police officers did not help to save the next child who will die from an opiate related cause in approximately 1 1/2 months from now, what does it matter if the school allowed them to come in or not. We are still not telling the truths that will save our children. We still do not believe that "The Truth Will Set Us Free". Smoking marijuana will not kill you and it is not physically addictive. In fact, there is pending legislation across the nation intending to legalize it. Those are facts. Opiate addiction is the number one killer in Damascus. Another fact, not mentioned. Intentionally omitted? Why?
Are the police officers aware that the phone numbers they give parents to call if their child is addicted do not get him into treatment and do not save his or her life. Probably not. Do the schools "recognize" that they have a drug problem? I am sure they do. The question is --what motivates them to remain in denial? --to maintain their silence? We do not know their answer. Do the police know that the information found on websites about where and how to access substance abuse services for their child is often outdated and inaccurate, or astronomically expensive. Probably not. Only those who have attempted to utilize those sites would know that. Parents, who are now where I was three years ago, want to know how to help their opiate addicted child. Does Commander Reynolds know the answer to that question? Probably not.
Progress is not being made when misinformation is given to parents --that only confuses parents who are seeking help. Progress is not made when the truth is covered up. We all have approximately 1 1/2 months left until the next mother's son or daughter dies in Damascus. This is based on the death rate for the past three years. We do not have time to wait for this slow "progress" of massaging egos, tip-toeing around the issue, figuring out how to talk about cheerleaders shooting up heroin while trying to keep up appearances, and letting go of false images one finger at a time. How many more kids will die if that is our method?
If we believe that we are "limited" to what we can do and say, that will certainly allow more kids to die before something is done. I have a different proposal that I would like us all to consider. It is simply this: Speak the Truth. Speak the Truth, no matter what.
I have anyone's back who is willing to come out from behind their ego, their job, their organizational rhetoric and help save these kids lives. Mr. Sterling drove up to Damascus and stood on the corner of Main Street and Ridge Road with 25 parents and kids in freezing weather for an hour behind a ten yard banner that read "HOW MANY MORE WILL DIE?" Others joining him carried signs that read: "1 DAMASCUS DEATH EVERY 3 MONTHS"; "HEROIN ADDICTION CAPITAL OF THE U.S."; "OPIATE ADDICTION IS A NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER NOT A CRIME"; and "FOR EVERY $1 SPENT ON TREATMENT TAXPAYERS SAVE $12", etc.
If we all look past the perception of whether Mr. Sterling was or was not "critical" and look at the strategies that he proposed, I think we will all find some validity in the points that he made.
For instance, I guess the officers mentioned the arrests in the Gardens, because they thought that would be better than mentioning the arrests of Damscus High School's top athletes and most popular cheerleaders from white suburban affluent homes in Damascus. However, they missed that opportunity to tell that truth, thereby missing the opportunity to warn parents and to assist in figuring out a solution. They missed the opportunity to tell the truth about white affluent parents selling prescription opiates to their kid's friends, thereby missing the opportunity to tell parents how to handle that.
For instance, the officers probably did lose some credibility with kids when they were talking about "pharm parties". Ask any kid who is using or dealing heavy drugs and they will tell you that they are not about to give away something as marketable and profitable without getting something in return. The response I got from kids is, "Are you kidding me? Throw a bottle of your good drugs into a bowl and take a risk that you're getting someone else's aspirin or heartburn pills." All the police need to do to know this information is to sit down with a kid from Damascus and they will know that these events do not take place in Damascus. Our kids are too capitalistic for a pharm party to happen here.
For instance, these kids do not to take drugs with rat poison or Drano. They are getting and dealing prescription opiates in pill form straight from the pharmacy. Drug dealers in Baltimore do not have to cut heroin. It is cheap to make and they can easily undercut the street value of prescription opiates by selling good heroin and still make a considerable profit, so why risk getting a reputation for selling something low quality. They know these kids are or will be addicted, and they are vieing for their long-term business. Dealers roll out the proverbial "red carpet" when our kids show up in Baltimore. They are looking for repeat business and they get it by delivering good drugs and good service. That is the "truth" about kids in Damascus, rather than the truth about rhetoric found in textbooks and articles.
For instance, you really couldn't hear the video and couldn't really pinpoint the message it was trying to make.
For instance, most parents in attendance probably grew up in the sixties and seventies. As a graduate of Magruder H.S. class of '78, bowls, bongs, and joints were commonly smoked right in front of the school with pot smoke wafting through the classroom windows on a Spring Day. It is my guess that most people there know what devices are used to smoke "weed". What we don't know, what I didn't know, what I wish I had known was what opiates are, how addictive they are, how pervasive they are in Damascus, how easily a kid gets hooked, how dangerous prescription opiates are, how to get my kid into treatment if they do get hooked, and what type of treatment is necessary. I used to not know what a syringe looked like, why I could not find a spoon in the kitchen to save my life, and if I did, why they were blackened on the bottom. I used to not know what a can of Dust-Off was or that you could buy it at CVS if you couldn't get your fix that day.
For instance, my son is a recovering addict who rarely ever had a phone or a Facebook site, much less any apps. So in my case, I could have snooped all I wanted, found nothing on his non-existant phone and web-page, picked up the spoons in his room, lectured him about leaving dirty dishes in his room, walked past the can of Dust-Off presumably used to clean his c.d.'s, and bought his story about his diabetic friend who must have dropped his insulin needle on the floor when he last visited. After that I could have called the pediatrician to make an appointment due to all the school he has missed as a result his recent flu-like symptoms that seem to come and go quite regularly. The pediatrician would not have tested him for opiate addiction, but instead would have given him a prescription for opiates for his muscle pains and migraine level headaches (a result of withdrawal).
For instance, I could picture my kids and all of their friends thinking the exact same thoughts that Mr. Sterling was humorously mimicking --except for the use of the word "clowns" instead of the "po-po". (That gave his age away.) Other than that, he sounded just like a typical teenager in my opinion.
For instance, I want to participate in that meeting that he has so clearly outlined in his "Recommendations" section. Really, don't you?
Mind you, nothing I have said in any way diminshes the fact that people are trying to help --and putting in a lot of time and effort to do it. That is certainly applaudable. Those officers should certainly and whole-heartedly be applauded for their efforts.
The problem is that the people who are trying to "help" have had scattered efforts and have at times very adamantly defended their "turf", or their part of the solution, as seen from their perspective. Sometimes that hurts the efforts of others. Everyone needs to bring their part of the picture and their part of the solution to the same table in order to form a coherent and effective plan, one which acknowledges all aspects of the problem and can therefore address all aspects of the solution.
For instance, are the police aware that 65% of all inmates meet medical necessity criteria for substance addiction and another 20%, while not meeting strict DSM IV criteria, had histories of substance abuse; were under the influence of substances at the time of their crime; committed their offense to get money to buy drugs; were incarcerated for a drug or alcohol violation. Are they aware that treatment, instead of incarceration, is not only cheaper, but more effective in lowering crime rates and criminal recidivism. Mr. Sterling's profession and expertise revolves around attempting to get these individuals treated instead of incarcerated. The parents of Damascus High School athletes, cheerleaders, and one-time gifted and talented students did not raise their kids to go to jail either for having a neurological disorder. We want our kids in treatment instead. What is the police role then? In Virginia, police officers refer cases to social services when they encounter an adolescent with a drug problem. This perspective would probably involve asking the police if they were willing to help us solve this problem by changing the way they currently do business. It may require them to work with people whom they may have once attempted to arrest. Just a thought.
Do the police know that there are only about 100 treatment beds in the entire state of Maryland and most of them are filled with referrals from the juvenile justice system and we cannot get our addicted kids the treatment they need to stop using opiates in on a voluntary basis? Probably not.
Are the police aware that social workers, substance abuse professionals, and government officials have told parents to call the police and report their children for any type of crime so that a judge will order them into treatment, because the parent cannot. Probably not. When I have called the police on my son at the recommendation of these paid "professionals", I have been mocked by police for wasting their time, threatened by them when I tell them that they are not doing their job when they do not charge my son for "theft" of say, my cell phone (something that may get him in front of a judge who could order treatment), and undermined when they tell my son that I do not have the right to kick him out of the house if he shoots up heroin in front of me.
No one is going to understand what the problem really is and what the solutions are unless we are all willing to sit down at the same table. I started Heroin Action Coalition of Montgomery County to work on this problem. A "coaltion" is an alliance between persons or factions. The police were correct when they said they could not "arrest this problem away". Just as the attorneys cannot "litigate this problem away"; just as the parents cannot "consequence this problem away"; just as the schools cannot "suspend and expel this problem away".
Anyone who REALLY cares needs to put the rhetoric, the image, the defenses, the posturing, the public relations, the denial in the closet and step on out. Therein lies the real courage. Therein lies the real solution. To solve this problem, the police and the addicts and the school and the parents and the treatment providers and the health and human services reps and the government agency reps need to sit down at the table and talk about the reality of the problem and talk about solutions that will work and has worked in other places. Otherwise, we are all wasting time.
Consider attending any one of the upcoming meetings and events that I will be posting by tomorrow. It is too late tonight and I need to sleep. A Coalition involves all factions and interested parties. An effective solution involves all factions and interested parties. It is my prayer that we can all get together and work out a plan soon.
I hope this has been helpful.
Lisa Lowe
Heroin Action Coalition
-----Original Message-----
From: Lisa Essich
To: Eric Sterling
Cc: Butler, Tracey
Sent: Wed, Mar 21, 2012 10:22 am
Subject: Re: March 19, 2012 Damascus High School Anti-Drug Forum by MCPD
Mr. Sterling,
My name is Lisa Essich and I believe we met when my daughter, Lea and I spoke at the AODAAC meeting last year. After reading your email regarding the MCPD anti drug forum at Damascus High School, I felt compelled to respond.
With all due respect, Mr. Sterling, your email with your details of how you felt the forum went were quite harsh.
As I'm sure you are well aware, even getting a MoCo school to RECOGNIZE there is a drug problem in their community is HUGE let alone allowing officers from the MoCo police department to come into their school to openly discuss this problem.
Lea and I have worked with Commander Reynolds on numerous occasions. Lea and I have spoken at at least 20 different venues this past year from MoCo schools, to treatment centers to churches and a Jewish private school we even drove down to the Eastern Shore to speak to a Technical high school. Commander Reynolds was at many of those events.
One thing I have noticed speaking at these different places is that what is allowed to be done and to be discussed varies widely based on where we are speaking. At many of the events, we have been able to do the exercises you suggested, the kids breaking off into groups and presented with different scenarios and how they would handle their scenario. Parents had been given instructions, websites, information and direction on how to talk to their kids about drug and alcohol abuse. Information given on who to call if you think your child might be using and or addicted to drugs.
There have been schools that have let us speak during school hours and schools that have asked us to come after school hours or on a weekend. Commander Reynolds was at all of the events in MoCo. Sometimes volunteering his time to meet with and talk to these kids, their parents and their teachers.
There isn't any one quick fix for this problem as I'm sure you are also aware but progress is being made and that is something NO ONE can deny, not even you.
Everyone speaking at these events volunteer their time because there are no longer any budgets given for alcohol and drug prevention. I take personal days from work, I've allowed Lea to miss school to speak, Commander Reynolds has come to talk on his personal days off so the bottom line is, in the end, we all want the same outcome but are limited as to what we can do.
Perhaps when we speak again (Lea and I have several more engagements coming up 1 of which is at a MoCo Middle school) you can rally some of the professionals you feel should be at these venues, perhaps you can provide us with pamphlets to hand out to the students, perhaps you can attend more than ONE anti drug forum.
There are several people throughout Montgomery County trying to make a difference and it is quite disheartening to see that these same people are getting criticized for doing so.
My daughter and I will continue to work with Commander Reynolds, the Montgomery County police department and other professionals to chip away at this humongous problem.
Although we won't be able to save everyone, we'll be able to save someone.
Respectfully,
Lisa Essich
On Tue, Mar 20, 2012 at 1:52 AM, Eric Sterling
Friends,
I attended the MCPD anti-drug forum at Damascus High School this evening. There was a nice crowd, perhaps a couple hundred people, maybe more. The auditorium felt well-filled – maybe half full – about 60 percent students and 40 percent adults.
At the suggestion of one of the police leaders there, I wrote down my summary, my reactions, and my recommendations which follow and which are attached.
MCPD Drug Awareness Program
Damascus High School
7 pm, March 19, 2012
Summary and comments of
Eric E. Sterling[1]
SUMMARY
MCPD 5th District Commander Luther Reynolds dominated the first half hour of the program.
He talked about community but said of persons “dealing dope,” “They need to be put out of society!”
He was defensive. He felt the need to tell his own story to attempt to connect, and made statements such as “life is not easy being a teenager.”
Then he made the point that he could not hire persons who exhibited a strong work ethic, excellent leadership skills such as being the captain of their athletic team and having military experience as well as a positive attitude because their record of prior drug use was an “automatic disqualifier.”
He recounted the investigation in Damascus Gardens in which over 8 months 25 undercover buys were made. Then on December 9, SWAT teams executed 7 raids simultaneously.
He bragged that one person pled guilty and is serving a 20 year sentence. He said that there is an open homicide and there have been drive by shooting in order to make the point that drug use is not a victimless crime. He was proud of the tremendous enforcement effort of more than 50 additional arrests.
The purpose of this meeting is to take the veil off the problem. There are lots of problems and lots of ignorance. He was insistent that this was not a problem in Damascus but a problem all over the country, all over the county. It is not just the school but the whole community.
He asked if people knew what a “pharm party” was and then went on to describe it saying it happens frequently and that as a result a “certain percentage of those who attend overdose and a certain percentage are addicted for live.
He noted the observation of someone who conducts prison ministry who laments about all the lives that are ruined by drugs.
He exhorted, we care about you, we care about this community.
Drugs, he said are contaminated by Drano, rat poisoning, PCP. Marijuana, cocaine are cut. That what “they” do with lots of these drugs.
Bath salts fry your brain. Then he awkwardly told of his own difficulty reading and writing to ask why someone would want to use drugs.
He then introduced Officer Jeremy Wojdan.
The officer began by saying that “We want to have a conversation. We want you to be empowered.
He asked the athletes to stand up, and most of the students present stood. (I was told by a parent that the school principal had told the coaches that they tell all teams that attendance was mandatory.)
Give yourself a round of applause, the officer said.
If this program saves just one life, it is totally worth it.
They then attempted to play a video. (For several minutes they could not get the audio to work which made a terrible impression of incompetence.)
The video with the caption, “Be a part of the solution, get involved today!” was a terrible mishmash of snippets of dialogue. In barely comprehensible rapid-fire fashion, a person would utter a sentence fragment followed by another person and another sentence fragment. Snatches of thoughts were expressed: I got a rush. He was angry. Marijuana. Cocaine. Heroin. Shared a needle. Parent fears were expressed. Dui. Jail sentences. Crying. As music begins to rise, people start identifying family members who have died.
Then a slide of “Alarming Statistics” was presented and repeated orally in dire, ominous terms.
US teens smoke more marijuana than tobacco.
75% of teens will try drugs.
20% of them are addicted.
A silly exercise was engaged in: ten students are asked to stand. Then some are told to sit and the officer suggests that they could get marijuana in one hour, others are made to sit and a another statement is made about them. The students are not asked to participate other than to serve as props for assertions made about them.
90% of addiction starts in teen years.
Then there was a rather silly dialogue between two police officers about “It’s just marijuana,” stress and spring break.
Then the officers condemned “cool parents” who sponsor drinking parties.
And mocked comments like, my parents let me drink. None of this was coherent or put in any kind of nuance or context that might reflect real families or real situations.
How many of you know alcoholics? the parents were asked? Almost every adult raises a hand. How many of them wanted to become an alcoholic when they had their first drink? the officers ask in an utter non sequitur.
Then onto the dangerous internet and social networks!
Parents were exhorted to demand, tonight, that their kids give them the passwords to their facebook and youtube accounts and if they don’t, shut off their access to the Internet. Same with their phone text records.
Parents, you pay the bills. These are yours, not your kids.
He mocked the idea that students might have an expectation of privacy in these accounts if their parents are paying.
“You have every right to go into what they are going into!”
And parents were mocked, “Parents have no clue.” Parents were asked if they knew about Text+ and voxer applications.
You would be shocked at what go into your kids phones.
Be proactive, he said.
He warned that kids have two Facebook accounts – one of family trips to the beach and the other under an assumed name filled with drug and alcohol use images and messages.
Who is influencing your child? He wanted to know? E.g., picture of Michael Phelps smoking a bong, although no one seemed to be able to identify him.
Look at the record of your kids’ searches on Google.
Then the Drug Paraphernalia 101 drill.
A student volunteer is brought forward to explain how Phillies cigars are converted into blunts and what a blunt is. What a “bowl” is, what rolling papers might look like.
“Snoop in your kid’s room” we were told. If you find an empty water bottle it may be a makeshift pipe. If you kid is using Visine it is to disguise the effects of smoking and drinking.
Then the concluding slide with URLs:
www.drugfree.org
www.urbandictionary.com
www.dea.gov
www.abovetheline.org
www.teens.drugabuse.gov
[NO MENTION OF THE PROJECT AWARENESS HANDOUT PREPARED FOR THIS FORUM WITH USEFUL INFORMATION ON COMMUNICATION, ASSESSMENT, THE COUNTY CRISIS CENTER OR OTHER RESOURCES!]
If your kids refuse to give you the passwords to their accounts, block their access to the Internet.
Then, How could a young kid get hooked on heroin?
They get pharmaceuticals from their family, they experiment. A “certain percentage” get addicted. They like the feeling, but it is too late; they are now addicted. It is expensive. They can’t afford the drugs, even when they steal and commit crime. So they get heroin because it is less expensive but the same high.
Then Andrea McCarrin, the TV reporter who got death threats for exposing the liquor store in DC where teens from Montgomery County could buy alcohol.
People don’t understand what is right and wrong!
Then saying he did not want to get into the political question of whether alcohol licensing should be allowed in Damascus but mentioned that one opponent feared that if alcohol is sold, then there will be field parties.
Look for good role models, we were told.
We [MCPD] have a lot of skin in this game.
Then the principal came forward.
He concluded by saying that we want to have a conversation.
People were dismissed but encouraged to talk one to one with a police officer.
# # #
[1] Eric E. Sterling, President of the Criminal Justice Policy Foundation, Silver Spring, MD is also a member of the Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse Advisory Council of Montgomery County. He has over 35 years of experience working on substance abuse issues as an assistant public defender, Counsel to the U.S. House of Representatives Subcommittee on Crime, and with numerous non-profit, civic and professional organizations ranging from the American Bar Association to NORML and Al-Anon. He has been active with the PTA, the Girl Scouts, taught at George Washington University and American University, William Penn House, and led wilderness canoe trips for boys, among other groups. esterling@cjpf.org 202-365-2420 cell
COMMENTS
No woman spoke. No health practitioner spoke. No one gave a phone number for where to call for treatment, for help or for confidential guidance. No person of color spoke. No parent was called on or spoke. The students were props, not participants. It was classic anti-drug propaganda.
The speakers promised repeatedly that there was going to be an opportunity for questions, but that promise was broken without apology. A lame explanation was offered that the students had to go home to study.
If this forum had been taped and posted on YouTube it would have been posted as a caricature of a stereotypical community forum of police officers talking to parents and students about drugs. No cliché was skipped. It was judgmental, earnest, strident, exaggerated and dishonest. It was tragic and offensive. It was well-meaning and ineffectual. It was classic!
Most obvious and troubling, there was complete confusion about who the intended audience was, what the purpose was or what the message really was. Thus it was counterproductive. To say that this is the beginning of a conversation assumes that someone would willingly come to another session like this and reasonably expect a different outcome. Not likely.
Was the audience the parents?
Parents were given the following advice: snoop in the kids rooms, insist that they have no right of privacy in their text messages, email or facebook, and if they resist, take away their internet access.
No one said what to do if you find paraphernalia. No one provided any guidance on how to hold an effective conversation with your kid about drug or alcohol use!
No one provided any guidance to parents about what the goals of such conversations might be!
Be frightened that your kids will go to “pharm parties,” frying their brains on bath salts, it’s easy for the kids to get drugs and lots of them are doing them. Be on the lookout for drug paraphernalia. Watch out for marijuana and heroin. Go to government websites for information.
The take away message, such as it was absurd: “Be part of the solution, get involved today!”
The subtext was you are ignorant of what your kids are probably doing, they are in grave danger, its not just Damascus, it is all around. There are all kinds of new, mysterious threats from “pharm parties” to terrible apps you never heard of for smartphones and computers.
If you are not invading your kids’ privacy, you aren’t doing your job as parent.
Was the audience the students?
Students were given this advice: If you use drugs, you will never get a job. If you use drugs you should be put out of society. We are on the war path: arrests with the SWAT team, 50 more arrests of people like you. If you don’t know what a pharm party is, you aren’t in the know.
Drugs fry your brain.
We want to have a conversation. (Well, not really. We want to pretend to have a conversation, but we won’t take your comments or questions.)
Give yourself a round of applause for being here because you care (Duh, I was ordered to come by the coach who was ordered by the principal.)
Oh you clowns can’t even get the sound to work on your fancy, special audio-visual equipment set up.
Ah, a slide of statistics. Is this on the exam?
Wait, 75% of teens use drugs? What’s wrong with me that I am not one of them? I’m not normal? So, everybody IS doing it.
Some fraction of kids can get drugs in some amount of time. 20% of some number of adolescents is addicted? We’ve studied how statistics can be misused, it’s part of the MCPS curriculum.
What are you trying to say about alcohol? No one should drink because some become alcoholics but they did not know they might become alcoholics?
“It’s just marijuana.” What are you saying, that marijuana is really as dangerous as heroin or “bath salts?”
Wait, you are telling my parents that I have no expectation of privacy!?!? You are telling my parents to snoop in my room?! You are telling my parents that if I don’t give them my passwords they should threaten to take away my access to the Internet? Uh, are you crazy? They can’t make that a credible threat – I need Internet to do my assignments, to access Edline. The school and my teachers EXPECT that I have access to my Internet.
Oh, wow, I should make sure that I set up a dummy facebook page right away.
Oh drug paraphernalia 101. Are you lame? What is bowl? What are rolling papers used for? What is a blunt??? Give me a break. When is this going to end?
Tell my parents to go to www.urbandictionary.com to learn how to talk to me? Do you think we are some kind of aliens?
So when do we get to ask questions? So when are we having the conversation you say you want? Oh, no conversation.
This program illustrated why D.A.R.E. and most prevention programs that have actually been evaluated have been found to either ineffective or counterproductive.
What was the take away message for the students? Cops say drugs are bad. Cops think like cops: kids are suspects, they need to be investigated. Parents should behave like cops – Oh God!
I know that kids are dying from drugs in Damascus, but you don’t really seem to have a clue about what to do about that.
RECOMMENDATIONS
The police have a great deal of respect and credibility. As you can see, if they sponsor an event, lots of people will come. But their communication content and style is lousy and antiquated.
Police should be prominent in the inviting and hosting. After a VERY BRIEF welcome by a police leader, a professional communicator or educator should take over. The audience should be divided. The students should go to one room and the parents stay where they are. There should be two different programs for the first half.
Have prevention and education specialists run the meetings, NOT cops!! Start by asking each audience, what would make this evening most valuable? What would they like to know about substance abuse issues in this community and in general. Then be prepared to make sure that those questions get addressed quickly.
For parents, instead of the litany of how to detect if your kids are using drugs by searching their rooms and conversations, focus on the kinds of techniques to keep communications open and how to communicate values not to use to drugs that don’t come across as preachy, accusatory or argumentative. What are the techniques for effective communication?
Encourage parents to role play. Set up a scenario: A parent has found a marijuana pipe or rolling papers or a bong or some marijuana in their kid’s room. Have the audience divide up into pairs. Have half play the kid who has been caught and half play the parent. Goal: express to the kid disappointment and try to get the kid to appreciate the risks and consequences, and see if the kid is willing to promise to stop.
Debrief: how did it feel? Who can share some successful techniques.
What if they kid denies the paraphernalia is theirs? What if the kid accuses you of invading their privacy – how do you answer effectively?
Now in the other room with the students, what is an effective program? Certainly none of what was presented tonight!
Have the kids tell each other, in their own words, what the risks of drug use are. They know. They don’t need to be talked down to! Let the kids carry the message, it is much more effective.
Then divide the kids into pairs. One kid plays a parent who suspects or has evidence that the kid is using drugs. Have the kid role play how the parent can express his/her concern and fears in a loving manner. Let the kids hear the reasons for parental disappointment from another kid. They know what their parents would say. The other kid role plays the kids role: denying, lying, squirming, feeling bad.
Debrief: What messages worked well? What did the kids hear that made sense? What did they hear that was counterproductive? How did the kids playing the parents feel? How did they feel about their kid using drugs? How did they feel about their kids reactions? Angry? Forgiving? Concerned? Alarmed? How did the kids feel who played being caught by their parents? Ashamed? Stupid? Defiant?
The kids DO NOT need a lesson on paraphernalia! They don’t need a lesson on cultural influences. These are high school students!
You might have someone who is not a cop but a nurse or a doctor answer questions about the scientific effects of certain kinds of drug use and drug use behaviors. You might ostentatiously say, the cops are leaving the room now. You are encouraged to have an honest conversation about what kinds of drugs are being used in this community and in this school.
Then have the two groups rejoin. Have some kids tell the parents what they did and what they learned. Have some parents tell the kids what they learned and what they felt.
You have built community and trust!
# # #
Eric E. Sterling
Representative of the Legal Profession
Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse Advisory Council
Montgomery County, MD (term expires 2012)
Admitted to practice before the Supreme Court of the United States only.
Memberships:
American Bar Association
Maryland State Bar Association
Washington Council of Lawyers
Association of the Bar of the City of New York
President, The Criminal Justice Policy Foundation
8730 Georgia Avenue, Suite 400
Silver Spring, MD 20910-3649
Tel: 301-589-6020 Cell: 202-365-2420
Fax: 301-589-5056
esterling@cjpf.org www.cjpf.org
www.justiceanddrugs.blogspot.com
[1] Eric E. Sterling, President of the Criminal Justice Policy Foundation, Silver Spring, MD is also a member of the Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse Advisory Council of Montgomery County. He has over 35 years of experience working on substance abuse issues as an assistant public defender, Counsel to the U.S. House of Representatives Subcommittee on Crime, and with numerous non-profit, civic and professional organizations ranging from the American Bar Association to NORML and Al-Anon. He has been active with the PTA, the Girl Scouts, taught at George Washington University and American University, William Penn House, and led wilderness canoe trips for boys, among other groups. esterling@cjpf.org 202-365-2420 cell
1 comment:
I think it's interesting that you have taken all that time to complain about what others are doing to tackle the issue yet you have done nothing but complained to an audience of one (being me). I'm wondering who made a bigger difference, you or the police dept of Montgomery County... Statues were never raised to critics!
Post a Comment